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To You, First Time Mama ~



It's everything you thought it would be and nothing you thought it would be, right? 
I hear you Mama. I'm riding that struggle bus with you and melting at those little gummy little smiles with you too. 

There are a TON of things no one tells you when you become a Mum; that beautiful hair and radiant glow you were promised when you fell pregnant? They may not happen. That's right, never. And just to add a bit more salt to that very open wound, once you've had your beautiful bambino, your hair could start to fall out. It's happening and I'm bitter about it; lets move on...
Along with morning  all day sickness, piles, varicose veins, bleeding nipples, sore boobs, sleep deprivation, not being able to put your own socks and shoes on, not being able to wipe your own bum (yes, it happens and no, nothing is off limits here), it can be a long, difficult ride getting your little one here safely, and then navigating your new role as a parent. 

Then, as you're in the crippling depths of 2 hours of sleep, 10 cups of cold coffee and maybe a bit of dry toast bread, that little smile washes over their face and it's worth it Mama, so so worth it. 

I knew it would be difficult not getting enough sleep. I knew breastfeeding wasn't easy for everyone, (and it certainly wasn't for me). I knew about colic and crying and sleep training and I spent hours, days, weeks researching everything I thought I would need to know about my little baby before he arrived. 
You know what you can't research? Time. 
The time that flies by and that you can never get back. The time spent at 3am, when it feels like you and your babe are the only two people in the whole world who are awake. When you just want to crawl back in to bed and sleep for longer than 2 hours. When you're hungry, thirsty, tired, need a wee, you hurt all over, and you just cannot stop your baby crying, or get them to latch or take a bottle. 

And then, in the blink of an eye, you wake in the morning in a blind panic, having had 6 hours straight sleep (yes mama, straight, uninterrupted sleep) and wonder, have I not heard baby crying? Why is it so quiet? Is everyone safe? And you rush to their little bed and see them sleeping, perfectly happy and peaceful, their little limbs twitching as they dream of so many lovely things. 

Remember those 3am meltdowns mama? Seems a lifetime ago now doesn't it? And maybe, just maybe, you might just catch yourself missing them. Holding that tiny precious bundle so tightly and rocking the nights away. 
Like you're the only two people awake in the world. 

✻


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